It’s Not HER Fault…

Femininity comes at a cost. To be soft is dangerous. Pretty is a target mark. Curvy is a catcall. A smile, somehow morphs into an invitation— An invitation for unwanted objectification (or worse). The female form, in all its splendor, keeps most women on high alert. It’s no wonder then, that when we as ladies get undue attention for simply being in our skin, silence seems to be the only way to soothe ourselves back to copacetic. So many times, a concern or a trauma gets met with speculation and prying eyes; with whispers of blame and accusation instead of words of comfort and care. Apologies? When? Where? How does that level of empathy even come into play when she is to blame for her own misfortune? The reality is this… SHE did not catcall herself. SHE did not ask to be curvy. SHE can’t help that she’s pretty. SHE didn’t make herself a mark— Someone else did that to her; someone else does that to us. And woman to woman, when faced with the opportunity to support another woman in need, it’s high time we stop asking “Well, what did you do…?” and start saying, This is NOT your fault.