Introduction
Sexual trauma and assault can impact so many areas of our lives including our daily routines. As a survivor, it can often feel like a huge part of your life is missing. This makes it difficult to get back into a rhythm of life. For some of us we have never had this rhythm due to the complex traumas we have experienced. This makes it extremely difficult to cope with the things that have happened and to be present with things that are happening in our daily experiences. However, something as assessing your daily routine can assist in decreasing anxiety symptoms, gaining a sense of control and a form of safety.
Routines can be a form of comfort and control.
Routines can be comforting, and they can also be a form of control. When you know what’s going to happen at certain times of day, it reduces anxiety because the outcome is predictable. For example, if you know that every morning you will wake up at 6:30 am and go for a walk around the block with your dog while eating breakfast and listening to NPR, then when this happens every morning there’s less room for surprise or uncertainty—and therefore less room for anxiety!
Similarly with sexual trauma survivors: If they are able to create their own routines—such as showering or getting dressed in a particular order or wearing certain clothes on certain days—then these rituals become cues that tell them “All is well” and help reduce the amount (or even eliminate) unwanted thoughts related to the past trauma(s). Although these routines may seem random or arbitrary from an outsider’s perspective, from inside someone who has been traumatized they feel completely sensible!
Structure is important to people with anxiety and PTSD.
Routine can be a great coping mechanism, especially for people with anxiety or PTSD. Having a set structure to follow helps us feel calmer, more in control and more comfortable.
So, if you’re the type of person who prefers your mornings to be routine, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise! If you like doing things in the same order every day (and have time), consider making some small changes so that each morning has a little more structure for yourself. Maybe instead of just “getting ready for work” without any real plan or direction, start by taking care of grooming tasks first and then move on from there.
Trust is tricky when you’ve had your trust violated.
Trust is a learned behavior. It’s a foundation for intimacy, relationships, self-worth and mental health. If you’ve had your trust violated in the past, it can be incredibly difficult to trust again—and that’s okay! You do not need to rush into trusting anyone or anything new without taking time to learn how to rebuild it. So, let’s just start today by learning to develop trust with your daily behaviors.
Understanding your trauma responses and seeking help can reduce the pain of triggers.
Understanding your trauma responses and seeking help can reduce the pain of triggers. Your brain has a natural way of reacting to trauma, but it’s possible to become more aware of and more in control of these reactions. Trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy is known to be an effective treatment for sexual trauma. Seeking support from loved ones or therapists can also help you manage these responses. It’s important to realize that it takes time for your body and mind to heal from sexual abuse or assault, so don’t give up if you feel like things aren’t improving right away!
Getting support from loved ones and therapists can be very helpful in managing trauma responses.
- Get support from friends and family.
- Get support from other survivors. For example, joining a local survivor community can be very helpful in managing trauma responses. At Journey to New Beginning Counseling Services, LLC. we provide monthly and weekly support groups for women who have experienced sexual assault/trauma. You can also connect with other survivors online through forums, chat rooms or online peer groups such as Survivors of Sexual Abuse Anonymous (SOSA).
- Get support from therapists. There are a number of different approaches to help people heal after they experience sexual trauma, including Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR).
Conclusion
Sexual trauma is a serious issue that has as impact on so many facets of our lives. It’s important to talk about it. The more we talk about sexual trauma, the more resources there will be for people who are affected by it. We need to be able to recognize symptoms of sexual trauma in our friends, family members or even ourselves so we can help those who are experiencing these difficulties. While some people may feel uncomfortable talking about this subject matter, continued conversation makes spaces for us as survivors to learn how to walk in our freedom.