I Am Not Ashamed!!

Women who have dealt with sexual abuse, sexual violation , sexual molestation, rape or trauma of any type including physical and emotional trauma deal with a strong level of guilt and shame. This guilt and shame is often difficult to articulate and is so great that it is hard to even conceptualize in a way where we are able to see or address our needs. As a result we live lives behind mask of anger ,mask of promiscuity, mask of isolation and mask of destructive decisions ultimately re-victimizing ourselves time and time again. You see the victim of sexual trauma subconsciously always sees herself as a victim until she knows that there is a way to not only become a survivor but a thriver. However, until she understands that she has the power to release herself from the shame and the guilt, she will always live as the victim and ultimately behave as the victim again constantly re-experiencing trauma. Shame is defined as an unpleasant self-conscious emotion typically evaluated with a negative evaluation of self; it constantly sends negative messages saying I am powerless, I am unworthy,I am unlovable, I am not needed and I am not enough. Guilt Is defined as feeling responsible or regretful for a perceived offense: real or imaginary. Some of the synonyms associated with guilt are: criminality sinfulness, culpability, blameworthiness and INIQUITY just to name a few. We often use these words interchangeably not understanding the true value and power they have or how they are internalized by women who have dealt with sexual trauma, abuse or neglect. Throughout the #metoo movement; the question has often been raised, why now are women speaking out about sexually exploitive and abusive acts that have happened many years ago. It's almost as if we are questioned regarding the authenticity of the exploitive acts of sexual abuse. This is a popular example, however this is the experience of many little girls, daughters, mothers and grandmothers who have in fact been molested as children and teenagers, raped and sexually assaulted as adults by family members, cousins, boyfriends ,husband's , church members and in lesser cases strangers. However ,as women so many times we have been taught to bare it,to be strong ,to get through and we are taught this by other women that we have grown up with or been surrounded by. Women that have been taught the same thing whether stated or unstated. We often are not given permission to speak our pain in order that we can identify why we have accepted the shame and guilt that our perpetrators should carry. I want to be clear that in no way am I blaming women for the cycle of pain. I am simply stating the cyclical survival techniques that we have passed through generations because we were using the only tools we had to survive. However once we know better, we honor our commitment to ourselves and we have the opportunity to choose to live and do better. We have the opportunity to state our pain, to realize our shame and to recognize our guilt. To recognize that the sexual abuse, trauma or assault we experienced was not something of our own doing. We have the opportunity to start unloading the heavy bag we're carrying with bricks of shame, guilt, pain, anger, resentment, low self esteem and low self worth. We have the opportunity to begin a Journey to New Beginnings and I am here to begin that journey with you as your therapist. Decide today to no longer live in a state of shame, participating in behaviors that fulfill the self fulfilling prophecy that we are women of iniquity, blameworthiness and culpability. Decide to honor a commitment to yourself by taking it one step at a time you are not your trauma you are not your molestation, you are not your rape, you are not your abuse. You are beautiful ,fearfully and wonderfully made. I believe in you contact me today.